15 Things I Wish I Knew the First Time


For first time parents, it’s easy to get lost in hours upon hours of reading parenting advice, funny columns on how you’ll never sleep again (cause that’s hilarious), and first-hand accounts on how you will have poop on you at some point in your parenting career (at least once a month if you’re lucky). But there are some things I wish I was told before having my first child.

  1. Use expensive diapers at night and cheap ones during the day.
  2. Breastfeeding hurts. Like, real bad at first. It does get better though, so if you really want to do it just get past those first three weeks.
  3. If you feel like something is wrong with your baby, just go to the doctor. Save your data and stop Googling things. Most likely it’s just a tooth coming in or an upset stomach but if you’re worried about a sick kid there’s no way to think about anything else.
  4. Don’t buy any clothing over $5 in the 0-3 month range. Or the 3-6 month for that matter.
  5. You’re going to either drop your kid, accidentally hit their head against the wall, bite their finger when you’re trying to play, drop your phone on them while trying to take a selfie; you’re going to do something and they are going to cry and it’s going to be your fault.
  6. Some cups are better for breakfast and dinner, others are great for the car, others are good for school, and the rest are for nap and bedtime. There are levels and times for certain cups; get to know them.
  7. Enjoy driving alone now. While you can. Enjoy listening to rap really loud or heavy metal without having to worry about the language. Or just enjoy driving in the silence. Ahhh, I do miss that.
  8. You can test if you’re doing things right by smiles and laughs. Forget milestones.
  9. Don’t fold your baby’s clothes. Just…just stop. They’re so small and you go through them so fast.
  10. “Baba” turns into “dada” turns into “mama” turns into “no I don’t want to and you can’t make me” really fast. Like whoa.
  11. People say funny things about parenting and you will laugh but sometimes you won’t really understand why because it’s actually sad. Like how you have absolutely no life with kids hahahahahahaha omg that’s hilarious.
  12. Things matter and words hurt.
  13. Playing pretend is super serious and you better do it right.
  14. The first few smiles you get from your beautiful new baby are just poop smiles.
  15. There’s nothing more terrifying than being home with kids and realizing all of a sudden that it’s quiet.

parenting facts 1


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